I really wish the CIA had brainwashed me…

So yeah I’ll take that brain scanner to forget what a awful meal this was. I normally will never write a true negative post, but of the all places I never thought I would pen these words from its the Culinary Institute of America. To say it was a utter disappointment from service to concept would be doing this place a service.

The night is July 7th 2016 my 30th birthday. I am not one for birthdays nor milestones just never been that guy, but my brother wanted to treat me to a solid meal as a food lover deserves. Living in the Hudson Valley we are lucky to have this place in our backyard, too bad I wish we could burn it like the wood pallets in our fire pit because this meal was terrible.

American Bounty

The American Bounty was just awful from start to finish.  First before we even get to the food I will say this place is beautiful its about all it had going for it.


I’ll start with this, I understand these are working culinary students, but they are at the premier culinary school in the USA. Sorry, but you’re held to a standard. Our server was fit for a chili’s at best. I knew we were screwed from the get go when my dad asked what wine would you recommend and the response was ” I don’t drink or know anything really about wine, so I really don’t know I bet they are all pretty good”  I’m sorry, but what?  You’re literally trained here on wine and you work here…you should as a professional have at least talking point on wine if you don’t drink it. I am not a wine guy at all, but I know enough at the restaurant to offer a recommendation if asked. So after picking one we thought would be solid we moved on to food. We asked well what have you liked that stands out to you?  I know a crazy thing to ask a person who goes to culinary school and works here, but apparently we are out of line with this one. Our waitress responds with “well I don’t really eat here so I don’t know, but I bet its all pretty good” I’m sorry what the fuck did you just say…. so we just ordered based on our gut no thanks to the awful server. This chick didn’t even bother to bring our food out on time like people got entrees when appetizers were coming out don’t worry the food is equally as bad as the service for 20-45 a plate!!!

First Courses: From bad to worse

chicken salad

So they bring us this little cracker with chicken salad and some pearled melon juice as if it was some kind of epic foodies experience to try and cover up for our clueless waitress. It was good as far as chicken salad goes….like we should of left when the damn culinary institute brought us chicken f-ing salad. Also are people really still making fake caviar with juice and gelatin? Thought that died out in top chef season three…

oysters cia 1

My brother and I split a dozen oysters served with a beet mignonette. The only good part of this dish was the oysters. The only way I can describe the beet sauce was basically smuckers jelly. It wrecked anything that the oyster could possibly taste like. Whoever thought this worked well shouldn’t be allowed to put things near a menu.

zucchini flowers

This dish the zucchini flowers, muscles, and clams in the smoked broth was good I will say of anything that was presented it was good and that is about it. Good not great, but to be the star of a shit show isn’t saying much Wendy’s put on a better meal after we left here.

I would like to add that our waitress was allergic to shellfish.  Completely fine, but her acting like every dish I ordered was going to set her a blaze and the dramatic bright purple glove and having other servers come remove plates was a little over the top. Once again you’re a professional now act like it. A clear glove with a white napkin over it to remove the plates like a professional who is getting tipped on a expensive meal.

cia smoked lobster

I’m still looking for the right words to describe how bad this was. I don’t think bad, awful, poor are the right words. So this “smoked” lobster is par smoked apparently at some earlier point then boiled to hell in butter at dinner service. This lobster was so rubbery and tough ISIS wanted to recruit it. This dish sucked just over all was awful. They had this random pea puree on the side that was good. I asked for more, but apparently the Culinary Institute of America doesn’t have enough to offer me a little more on a 34 lobster claw. There is nothing about this dish I can speak well of. Bland, overcooked, not thought out, and lacking any kind of seasoning.

Overall I was excited to go, but was quickly let down it started with service ended with the meal. I’ll never back to try any of their restaurants again.  If you find yourself in the Hudson Valley don’t waste the money there is far better local fare close by. I would like to add that I later on sent them a facebook message expressing the service and quality to never hear back. Glad to see the poor hospitality starts from the top down.





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